When Victims Become Perpetrators: Rethinking Gender Dynamics in GBV

By Sizwe Mthethwa

For decades, men have been identified as the primary perpetrators of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), a reality reflected in global statistics and deeply rooted societal patterns.

The rise of gender equality movements and women’s empowerment initiatives emerged as a necessary response to the historic marginalization of women, especially in patriarchal societies where women were often treated as second-class citizens.

These efforts have undeniably shifted the landscape. Laws have been amended, opportunities expanded, and the narrative that “it’s a man’s world” has been challenged, arguably, in some spheres, reversed. Women today hold significant power and influence, a hard-won achievement that deserves celebration.

Yet, amid this progress, a troubling question arises: Has the empowerment of women, intended to protect and uplift, inadvertently created opportunities for manipulation? This is not to paint all women with the same brush—far from it.

Many have used their newfound agency to break barriers and foster equality. But a concerning pattern has emerged where some exploit the protections designed to shield them, turning victimhood into a weapon.
In many societies, laws favour women based on their historically vulnerable status and the perception of them as the “softer” gender.

However, this has sometimes led to situations where women wield these laws to their advantage, manipulating societal biases and legal presumptions. The presumption of male guilt in GBV cases, while rooted in protecting victims, can also lead to miscarriages of justice. Men accused, even if later exonerated, often carry a lasting stigma, while the accuser faces little consequence if the claim is false.

False accusations, though statistically fewer than genuine cases, are a social ill that demands attention. They erode trust in the justice system and complicate the fight against actual abuse. Similarly, in marital disputes, some women leverage protective laws to gain advantage during conflicts, sometimes escalating rather than resolving tensions.

The question remains: why do many stay in unhappy or violent relationships? Love, attachment, and societal pressures are complex, but the legal framework should not be a tool for oppression or manipulation.

This is not to diminish the very real and pervasive violence many women endure, men have committed and continue to commit horrific acts. But it is time to acknowledge that victimhood can be misused. Every case must be scrutinized thoroughly to protect the innocent and hold the guilty accountable, regardless of gender.

Beyond legal dynamics, the role of money and material expectations in relationships has further complicated gender relations. When love becomes transactional, measured in gifts, money, or favours, it distorts genuine affection and fosters unhealthy dependencies. The rise of “blesser” culture, where financial support is exchanged for companionship or intimacy, reflects a societal shift where love is commodified, often at great personal and social cost.

This transactional view damages both men and women, breeding mistrust and fueling cycles of exploitation and violence. It also reinforces harmful stereotypes and undermines the progress toward authentic equality and respect.

If “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” then the stakes are high for society as a whole. To move forward, we must embrace a nuanced understanding of gender dynamics, one that recognizes the complexity of human behaviour beyond simple binaries of victim and perpetrator. Only then can we build a society where justice is truly blind, protection is genuine, and empowerment uplifts without enabling harm.

The fight against GBV must continue but with vigilance against new forms of injustice. Let us champion equality that is fair, accountability that is impartial, and relationships founded on respect—not fear, manipulation, or transaction.